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How do I discuss with my ex who has the children for the bank holidays?  Here are 5 top tips.


The month of May brings with it more time for mini-breaks and holidays with the bank holidays and half-term.  This year of course is more special with the extra bank holiday for the King’s coronation.  These extra times for recreation may cause some tension between parents who are separating or divorcing.  Decisions will need to be made by them as co-parents to determine who the child/ren will spend these special days with.

If you do find yourself wondering how to resolve or raise these matters with your spouse/partner here are five top tips to assist:

  1. Propose setting aside a specific date and time to meet to discuss matters, so that you can keep the conversations child-focused and not be distracted by the general busyness of life;
  2. Go for a walk, or meet somewhere neutral like a café, to help you both feel safe and comfortable making your suggestions;


  1. Ensure your child/ren are not present for these conversations, or within earshot. Children should not be brought into adult discussions;


  1. Record what you have both decided in a follow-up email, letter or entries in any shared calendar you may operate, to ensure you both have the same understanding of your discussions; and


  1. If you don’t feel able to have one-to-one conversations, or you don’t reach a consensus after meeting, contact a family mediator to help you as a neutral person facilitate these conversations. Click here for more information about our family mediation service.

If you would like more information or need help or advice about a family law matter or family mediation please contact Sarah French on 01962 841484 or